Families Like Mine Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is Abigail Garner 9780060527587 Books
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Families Like Mine Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is Abigail Garner 9780060527587 Books
I had to read a novel for my multicultural issues in education class and this was one of the recommendations in the syllabus. I am an ally and loved the book! It gave me a new insight into the LGBTQ+community and I recommended it to my friends who are going to be adopting soon so they have an idea what it will be like for their children!Tags : Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is [Abigail Garner] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. <P>Abigail Garner was five years old when her parents divorced and her dad came out as gay. Like the millions of children growing up in these families today,Abigail Garner,Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is,Harper Perennial,0060527587,General,Children of gay parents,Gay parents,Alternative Family,FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS Alternative Family,FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS General,Family & relationships,Family Parenting Childbirth,FamilyMarriage,LGBT Studies - Gay Studies,LGBT Studies - Lesbian Studies,PSYCHOLOGY General,SOCIAL SCIENCE LGBT Studies Gay Studies,Social ScienceLGBT Studies - Gay Studies,Social ScienceLGBT Studies - Lesbian Studies
Families Like Mine Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is Abigail Garner 9780060527587 Books Reviews
After eight years of experience with community organizing and activism on behalf of LGBT families, Abigail Garner has written a book about kids with gay parents. FAMILIES LIKE MINE is full of heart and hope-but even more importantly, it's full of truths. Because of her own experience as a child with two gay dads, she speaks from a well-qualified vantage point. She says she is "culturally queer" but heterosexual, and with that perspective, she comes at the topic from a unique and fascinating angle.
Using extensive research and interviews with some five dozen youths, Garner discusses many topics including adult parents coming out in the family; family changes, particularly divorces and same-sex break-ups; how kids with LGBT parents handle school; the concept of "straight family privilege"; the impact of HIV/AIDS; straight kids in queer culture; and kids of LGBT parents who don't grow up to be straight. She doesn't shy away from tough questions, and she doesn't believe that kids with gay parents grow up exactly like everyone else. But it is clear that she is championing a little-heard truth that kids with LGBT parents don't reach adulthood any more wounded or messed up than other kids from straight homes. In fact, many such children grow up more open-minded and tolerant than their peers, though they often have to face a great deal more antagonism and prejudice than is fair.
Weaving into the book her own fears and experiences, Garner is able to clearly delineate many of the problems that members of a non-traditional family encounter. For instance, once when her biological father was out of town, Garner's other dad, Russ, fell ill and was rushed to the ER. Most of us take for granted that as legal members of the immediate family, we'd get to visit our parent in the hospital and would be entitled to medical information. Garner was lucky because no one asked questions when she claimed to be Russ's daughter. But under the rules of most hospitals, if she had been challenged, she could have been barred from his room. She is correct when she writes, "What are labeled as special rights are not special at all; they are human rights that are currently being denied to LGBT citizens" (p. 127). A right as simple as visiting a sick member of the family ought not be denied, but it does happen.
I found this book to be tremendously readable and could not put it down. The contributions from the interviewees and the author's personal story were fascinating. Garner's ability to synthesize and explore this topic in such an accessible way is ground-breaking. By the end, when Garner writes, "Children of LGBT parents, however, are thriving in this world of possibilities" (p. 228), I found myself hoping that this would continue to be true and that our society would become more accepting, more knowledgeable, and with many more resources for "alternative" families.
This is a book that belongs in all libraries and should be read by school administrators, teachers, social workers, legislators, and parents (whether they are gay or not). If people would listen to Garner's message, the world would be a better place for all kids, whether their parents are gay or straight. ~Lori L. Lake, author of Stepping Out, Different Dress, Gun Shy, Under The Gun, and Ricochet In Time, and reviewer for Midwest Book Review, Golden Crown Literary Society's The Crown, The Independent Gay Writer, The Gay Read, and Just About Write.
Families Like Mine Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is
All parents hope that they're doing a good job of raising their children, but the truth is that they won't know how well they've done until the children are grown. This is what makes Families Like Mine such an invaluable resource. This book surveys and candidly discusses the actual experiences of children raised by GLBT parents who have now become young adults. Gay parenthood is an issue about which many people have opinions or theories - on both sides of the issues - yet no one knows what it's like to grow up in a GLBT family except the children themselves. As Garner says in her Introduction "Questions [that people commonly asked about my family] ... made me realize that the reality of my family and the common assumptions about families like mine were vastly different."
This book deals with many of the topics that might be expected "coming out" as the child of a GLBT family, homophobia, schooling, the impacts of divorce/separation and HIV/AIDS, and so on. If these were the only topics covered this book would still be a valuable resource. Yet Garner also discusses other issues that are not immediately obvious, such as the differing experiences of growing up gay ("Second Generation") or straight ("Culturally Queer, Erotically Straight') in a GLBT family, and what that means once you've become an adult. If you grew up going to Gay Pride parades with your fathers, what happens when you grow up to be a straight man but still want to go to Gay Pride? Along the way, Garner shows that understanding these issues also requires that we reexamine the meaning of ideas such as "culture" and "family".
Families Like Mine is a useful book for those who want to better understand the reality of GLBT families. But it's an even more useful book for gay dads or other GLBT parents who want to know that their children's lives will really be like, and what they can do to best help prepare them for the future.
I think this book is as important for LBGT parents to read as it is for the children of LGBT parents. The book helped me to understand what my teenage (now graduating high school and into college) children went through, and are still going through.
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Whether you're a gay parent or the child of gay parents (or neither!), you'll want to read this wonderful book. I found it compelling and engaging. It's comprehensive and thoughtful, addressing issues you're wondering about and questions you didn't even know you had. It's beautifully written, thorough, and comes from the heart. Get one for yourself and give one as a gift. You'll be glad you did.
I didn't meet anyone my age who has gay parents until I was 33. Reading this book was amazing - seeing how much I had in common with others, when I'd thought of myself as being the only one who'd had some of these experiences. Definitely recommended if you'd like to read real stories about families with gay parents, that aren't the scare stories of the religious right or the artificial "we're just like everyone else" stories you see in the press.
I had to read a novel for my multicultural issues in education class and this was one of the recommendations in the syllabus. I am an ally and loved the book! It gave me a new insight into the LGBTQ+community and I recommended it to my friends who are going to be adopting soon so they have an idea what it will be like for their children!
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